If I had been asked two months ago what being in a relationship means I would have gone ahead and listed off various things such as, talking every day, holding hands, caring for one another, etc. And sure those are by-products of a relationship, but those are not what a relationship is. The entire basis of a relationship and what it truly is, is being there when someone needs you; whether they ask you to or not, whether they want you there at that moment or not.
During the first week of my practical nursing program one of the instructors told us about this movement, called the I’m Here Movement, and how it got started from one person being there for another. At the time she wasn’t a nurse, she was a tech in the emergency room; but with two little words she changed a mans life and forged a bond a relationship, by being there. When we were all told this story it really struck a chord with me, because it showed me something; it brought a lot to light about my own life and the relationships or lack thereof in it.
I used to think being in a relationship was based on things, things you did for one another, gave to one another, time spent with one another, etc. But in the past couple of months I have gone through a severe medical trauma in my life just like Marcus the founder of the I’m Here Movement went through, and the relationships around me have either been defined or abolished by what I have seen while going through it. Because people who I thought would be there for me weren’t, and people I never expected to care were there for me more than anyone else had been for me in instances previously in my life. The way Jennifer stood by holding Marcus’ hand and telling him she was there, I had someone stand by from over a thousand miles away telling me, “I’m here.” And it’s made me realize that this is what all relationships are, being there for people.
Friendships are being there for one another regardless of the circumstances, regardless of what your friend is going through, what they like, where they live, etc. You’re there for them, help them out, listen to their struggles; and you may see these as nothing as just simple daily things; but everyday by doing those things you’re being there for them and this is what makes you have a friendship, a relationship with them. Romantic relationships are everything listed before this and being there everyday living together, and struggling together, being there more than in a friendship, being almost family.
People anymore don’t seem to have or want to make the time to really be there for other people, sometimes when I hear people talking about how they “have to be there” for someone it kills me, it makes me want to ask them “What do you mean ‘have to be there’?” It makes me want to ask why being there for someone is such a chore to them, and why they say it as though it is the most loathsome thing in the world. Being there for another person is one of the simplest things you can do for them, that you can do to comfort them, that can form a relationship that is stronger than anything else in your life. A nurse changed a mans life by holding his hand and simply saying, “I’m here.” A man has changed my view on our relationship, and many other relationships in my life, simply by telling me, “I’m here for you.”
I want to be the kind of person, the kind of nurse to be able to tell my patient’s, “I’m here.” and to mean it. I want to have relationships with other people based on us being there for one another, where being there isn’t a chore, it isn’t something I or they have to make ourselves do, it’s just something we do when we know they need us; because it’s right. Because people need to re-learn how to be there for one another, and how to understand how very much it can mean to someone to simply sit in silence and be there for them, no it may not inspire a movement the way one person actions did; but at the end of the day it very well may change a life. Whether you realize it or not. I plan to strive for this everyday with the people in my life, with my child, my lover, and the friends I value most when they need me; because I’m here and I will continue to be here, just like those people have been for me. Thank you to all of those people who have been here for me when I have needed you as well, it means so much to know, that you were and continue to be here.