…that’s why if you actually find someone you care about it’s important to let go of the little things even if you can’t let go all the way because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.”
This quote is from the television show Scrubs, it comes in an episode where a lot of the characters are in relationships and doing their own thing and the main character J.D. has just begun feeling alone despite the fact he is surrounded by friends.
This isn’t an unfamiliar feeling for some people, especially those in long distance relationships. I feel that way now as I am writing this, because the fact of the matter is I may be surrounded by family, friends, classmates, co-workers, etc.; but I couldn’t feel more alone. I read long distance communities a lot, and often people discuss how the distance and dealing with it gets easier for them over time, but thus far three (3) years in, I’m not feeling it. It gets more difficult every single time I have to leave him, and sometimes the difficulty makes me think it would be better not to even be going through this, but then my emotions and feelings keep me from just walking away. Which is obviously the case with most of us in this situation.
Feeling alone is one of the worst feelings anyone can experience in this world, it makes you feel tired, and defeated in a way as though trying to accomplish anything is going to take too much to do. There are the few who thrive when lonely and alone, but for the most of us, it is a miserable state that feels like you’re between asleep and awake and unsure how to really “wake up”. I don’t think people are really meant to be alone, if we were then really no one would ever desire to make friends, fall in love, mingle with co-workers, or build a community in any way. We would all be living in our own bubbles and drifting through our days only interacting with others as was necessary to complete a goal.
People need other people, and when you’re not with someone you want to be with; someone you feel as though you need then things just begin to turn grey at the edges. The world can go from feeling like a bright, vibrant, and beautiful place, to being a dull colored, quiet shell of what you once felt like it was.
I don’t think people are supposed to be alone for long periods of time, or forced into situations where they are isolated for long periods of time, I think it leads to depression and in sever cases can end up making someone have severe forms of psychosis. I feel as though when you have a support system, a positive support system that you can accomplish more than if you’re always trying to go it alone. I have a wonderful supportive loving relationship, the only problem is he is 1,085 miles away. So for now I feel very alone, and he is very far away and I feel like one of those people who things seem grey for, but I just keep telling myself it’s not forever, there will be an end date.
For anyone in a long distance relationship right now keep that in mind, when things get difficult and someone feels just too far away; there will be an end, you’re not going to be apart forever. It’s what keeps me from feeling so alone most of the time, and hopefully for those of you going through this too it can help you to always keep it in mind, maybe even put it on a card and carry it with you.